Emotion VS Drama

What’s the difference between Emotion and Drama?

Often, these are confused, especially by WOMEN. But there is a big, big difference.

EMOTION translates to you just saying to your partner, for example: “I feel bad”.

DRAMA, on the other hand, translates to: “I feel bad, and it’s your fault, and I need you to make me feel better.”

Can you tell the difference?

Or, “I feel really jealous right now, I hate to feel this way, I don’t want to be this person”, and “What the F$#”%& is going on, you are being X, Y, Z, who the F&%$# is X person? Who are you talking to? Why don’t you answer/pick up the phone? (etc.) You are an _____ !”

The first one will make a man want to reach out to help, to “solve a problem”, to “rescue” you. The second one pushes him away. It eliminates any chance he has to do what he does best: give (freely) to you. Which is what you want, so you are hijacking yourself and your relationship as well in the end.

Men, contrary to what is said, love feelings. They are not used to them and they are told to shut emotions down and cover them with anger. Women are told to hide their more aggressive feelings and mask them with smiles and be “good girls”.

Men love feelings. They don’t love drama and they don’t want to “discuss feelings”, they don’t want to hear about what they can do for you or what YOU want them to do and they don’t want complaining, whining, and drama, but they love being around you when you are in touch with your emotions because it feels so alien to them. It’s almost an art to experience that natural femininity in a woman.

Sometimes, emotions even feel alien to us, so the more we learn and educate ourselves to just be with our emotions, the more men will feel safe in our presence to open up, too. If you accept yourself, all parts of yourself when you are in their presence, (accepting doesn’t mean you like it, accepting is a process of adaptation, of transformation), they learn that you can accept them, too, and feel immensely appreciated and safe with you and ready to give you what you most want: their love, devotion, heart, and affection.

This creates a deep emotional connection that is more powerful than looks, sex, age, social status, ethnicity, nationality, etc. This is what will make a man want to be with you, wholeheartedly, interdependently. If you judge him, he’s gone (even if he stays in the relationship, he’s not really there). If he judges you, you’re gone. Appreciation is key in winning someone’s heart and the rest is about mirroring, not jumping at the other person and telling them off because inside us there is a volcano of emotions that erupts and which we decide to dump on the other person.

At the end of the day, we all want to love and be loved.

People who have lost their belief in love because of hurtful past experiences start to resign and conform and that’s a slow path to death.

Or, they are too afraid to lose something ( – the illusion of – power, control, status, freedom, etc.) so they don’t risk opening up. They don’t risk giving. And that way they don’t receive either, because there is only one gateway to our heart, only one door. You shut it and it’s closed, nothing gets in, and nothing goes out. It’s a 2-way road.

There is a song from a Portuguese artist that says: “Love is not about Time and Time doesn’t make it, Love happens at that moment I give myself to you and you give yourself to me.”

It’s very common for women to believe men don’t want or need love as they do. Nothing is further from the truth. Men long for love, a lasting, stimulating, caring, exciting, safe, passionate, receptive love. Men are givers. They want to find their “object” of love where they feel an inexplicable need to give, to provide, to solve problems, to be their most natural selves, and… be appreciated for it!

We associate women with “giving”, but feminine energy is receptive. We receive energy from a man that decides to give it to us. That way we can give back to him, which in turn makes him want to keep on giving to us. This is the dance. (The “healthy” dance that is).

Does this mean we are empty?

No. Not at all.

Picture yourself as a fountain. You are your own fountain. You give yourself self-care, self-appreciation, self-compassion, self-love, self-validation, self-value, self-respect, etc. By doing this your fountain is always full and always active, attracting men who want to be near it or drink from it. You don’t go to men to give your water away to them, they come to you, and they come to the fountain. They bring their energy to you and that way they get enough supply to be able to have more energy to give to you.

If your fountain is empty, they won’t want to come close, and if they do, you will push them away because you are not in a natural feminine receptive mode, you are in a “getting/demanding/claiming/etc.” mode. Men, who are in their male energy don’t want other “men” with them, they fall for a woman. A free, independent, loving, caring, exciting, vulnerable woman, who they feel both safe and stimulated about.

He needs to know that you need him, but not in a needy way.

Anything else is not loving someone. Be it for a lifetime or a night. It’s dependency, co-dependency, fear, loneliness, low self-esteem, insecurity, etc., but not love.

With love,

Elisa.