Self Esteem / Self Confidence: differences and tips!

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
― Mark Twain

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In my last article, “What no one dares to say about Coaching”, I mentioned the concepts of SELF-ESTEEM and SELF-CONFIDENCE. They generate some confusion, so I would like to clarify those doubts for you.

It’s usual to think mix self-esteem with self-confidence, think they are both the same, or that you can’t have one without the other. This isn’t true. You can have self-esteem and no self-confidence or the other way around.

Self-Esteem:

is something to do with how you feel in relation to yourself, how much you love yourself and accept yourself, how much you celebrate yourself, are compassionate with yourself, and do self-care.

It has got nothing to do with results, capabilities, with things you can or can’t do. It is not attached to anything exterior to you. It’s an internal feeling. So you might have high self-esteem and be happy generally speaking, but not be self-confident about playing sports, speaking in public, doing maths, traveling alone, drawing, etc.

We cherish who we are.

Self-Confidence:

on the other hand, is attached to an external factor, it is related to how we feel about our abilities. If we can or can’t perform well at something. If we get good grades and good results. So we could be masters in skiing and feel we are not enough in our personal relationships.

We cherish what we do.

When you love yourself, your self-esteem improves, which makes you more confident. When you are confident in areas of your life, you begin to increase your overall sense of esteem. You can work on both at the same time. 🙂

And how exactly does one love themselves?

Since no one teaches us these tools,  I focus my Individual Coaching Practice on helping you build your Self-Esteem. I support you in you rebuilding your life and your relationships, into healthy, happy, and significant ones. It is a Program that can last between 2 to 6 months for anyone who would like to learn how to be completely comfortable and authentic in themselves and avoid getting into unhealthy, conflictual relationships, and if you do get involved, how to manage them. By building your self-esteem you avoid getting hurt by preserving your inner peace and a healthy mental and emotional state.

In the meantime, here are some tips that you can put into practice, today!

• Think of qualities others say you excel in. Even if you believe them slightly, this is a step in the right direction.
• Stop the negative chatter. Shut it up! Start to think of contradictions to these statements as soon as the negative thought comes into your head.
• Would you say it to a friend? If not, stop saying these statements to yourself. Even if no one is listening… you are.
• Make a list of strengths. Think of what you would say about yourself if you were in a job interview.
• Read my Facebook post!

I hope it helped.

With love,

Elisa