What no one dares to say about Coaching

What is Coaching? Do I need Coaching ?

No. No one NEEDS Coaching. Coaching is an investment in yourself, in order to leave the survival mode and enter the real living mode. Like a change of “looks”, but which is internal instead of external. Of course, internal changes lead to external changes. We already know that.

What is Coaching for?

It is a tool that helps you to direct your life, stop drifting, resolve your conflict, inner struggle, difficulty. It works above all our internal power of choice and self-esteem.

Is Coaching Therapy?

No. Therapy treats, diagnoses, and can even prescribe medication. It focuses on the emotional wounds of the person – who is called “patient” – often referring to the past, childhood, the relationship with the father and mother, abusive relationships, addictions, trauma, etc. One does not replace the other.

Coaching is not Therapy, Personal Training (PT), coffee chat, or a best friend talk.

Who is Coaching for?

For everyone who wants to change their current circumstances and build a better future, for everyone who is dissatisfied with their life, their direction, or those who are without direction.

Who is Coaching NOT for?

For those who are not willing to leave their situation and do the internal work. For those who are in denial, for those who expect the Coach to solve all their problems, for those who suffer from psychological disorders, for those who need to heal trauma, for those who are not willing to invest or pay for that investment.

Is it possible to do Coaching and Therapy simultaneously?

Yes! In many cases, it is an asset. Because Therapy treats trauma, Coaching helps to implement action strategies in today’s life so as not to repeat traumas and move towards a new healthy way of living and being at work and in relationships.

However, it is sometimes necessary to do deep therapeutic work before the person is ready to think about the future. When the past is still very much present, it is necessary to resolve it first in order to move forward.

Is it worth having a PT and, at the same time, having a Coach when the “theme” is the same? (lose weight)

For some people, it may not only be worth it but it can make a difference. A PT will make you a training plan and accompany you during that training. The Coach helps you to find your own motivation on the bad days. And on those days we can easily slide and there goes all the work in the gym. The Coach reminds you WHY you made that decision and what the alternatives are if you give up. It serves as a mirror of your own motivations and thus, he or she works together with your PT 🙂

So, Coaching doesn’t motivate you???

I’m sorry to say but … no. A true Coach does something better: he supports you to find your own internal motivation and to work on it so it strengthens itself. He is not and cannot or should not be your source of motivation, otherwise, when the source is empty the motivation is over! In fact, this is how many “pseudo” coaches make their fortunes. They turn clients into “addict people”, give them the “high” and when it ends, charge a few more bucks to provide the next dose. They create dependency. True Coaching works on self-esteem, not self-confidence, which completely different things.

There are many people who call themselves Coaches and give “courses” with formulas on how to do something. What kind of coaching is this?

There are no “types of Coaching”. This is simply not Coaching. It’s Consulting. And these consultants (and not coaches) create confusion in people’s minds and Coaching is associated with a practice that is opposite to what it is in essence.

Why do they do that?

Because Coaching has become a fashion, and like all fashions, there are lucrative and marketing interests behind it.

What is the difference between Coaching and Consulting?

In Consulting, the consultant is the specialist and has a knowledge that clients seek, and therefore, he is the element that speaks the most, and clients listen.

In Coaching, the Coach is in an equal relationship with the client (not “patient” as in therapy), and “actively listens” to the information that comes from the client and processes it in order to assist him or her in bringing into consciousness what is in the unconscious and thus aid in unblocking the difficulty he or she is in.

So, this is the same as a psychologist?

No. Although they have points in common. Coaching is oriented towards the present and the future with action strategies. It is not that interested to develop deeply the storytelling around the person, but is rather interested in the person themselves in that exact moment, 100% present with him/her, in order to get to the real heart of the issue that concerns the client.

Is Coaching a legitimate profession?

Yes, it is. But just as Psychology had to go a long way before it was considered an official discipline and studied in universities, Coaching is still a very recent practice. It is, therefore, not yet considered an official discipline with academic courses at public universities. However, there is a world federation that certifies coaching schools all over the planet and creates norms, methodologies, credentials, and codes of ethics, thus regulating the coaching practice. It is called ICF – International Coach Federation.

Do you mean that there are Coaches practicing without having studied or having any qualifications?

Sadly, yes. And that is what discredits the profession. When it became fashionable, many thought of a business idea that appeals to the most sensitive or vulnerable, created a highly scalable product, and called themselves Coaches. They wrote some books, and after repeating the model several times, they became expert consultants for a business that they themselves created. I always advise working with coaches who have invested in their profession. And, even with qualifications (and talent), practice is always necessary, as in any other profession.

Where does the term “Coach” come from?

The term “Coach” was used for the first time as slang, in association with the mentors who accompanied the students in the exams, around 1830 at Oxford University. The word “coaching” therefore identified the process of “transporting” a person from a position where he is to where he wants to be. The first use of the term associated with sport happened in 1861, and later in the area of ​​Personal Development and Leadership studies.

Do Coaches do Coaching?

If they don’t, they should. We are very good at helping others and not so much at helping ourselves, that’s why we need others to support us in difficulties, and Coaches are human beings like everyone else. So, yes, it is a very valid and important investment for Coaches themselves. Of course, many people turn to friends to help them make decisions and overcome difficult moments, but the truth is that a Coach is not a best friend. A best friend has his place, which is extremely important, and will have a “type” of conversation and questions and, the Coach will have a completely different one. They are not a substitute for one another because the role of the Coach is not to give advice. So I can talk to my friends as a friend or as a coach, and I often ask them what they want me to do.

Elisa.